Meningitis Research Foundation – Befriender Network

About the project:

Meningitis Research Foundation’s (MRF) Befriender Network was set up in 2000 and provides a network of trained befrienders who all have different experiences of meningitis and septicaemia. They aim to match and provide telephone support to anyone affected by meningitis and septicaemia throughout the UK and Ireland.

The befriending relationship being conducted over the telephone works well for MRF as it enables matches to be made as closely as possible without geographical limitations. It is very important to MRF’s members to be supported by someone who has been there and understands the specific issues associated.

The charity’s APS accredited scheme provides an in-house training programme for those interested in becoming a telephone befriender with annual update meetings. Ongoing support and resources are available for both befrienders and befriendees from the befriender co-ordinator and MRF’s Freefone 24 hour helpline.

Project’s website: www.meningitis.org/helping-you/befriending

Project aims:

• To provide a tailored telephone befriending support service to anyone affected by meningitis and septicaemia throughout the UK and Ireland
• To enable people affected in anyway by meningitis and septicaemia to be able to talk to someone else who has experienced the same or similar problems

 Project outcomes

 Impact on befriendees:

• 366 people have accessed the Befriender Network since it was established in 2000
• The main expectation of people prior to their first conversation with the befriender is the idea that they will speak to someone who ‘understands’ where they are coming from whilst providing comfort and support and 70% felt that their expectations were met
• 84% of beneficiaries said they felt less isolated as a result of accessing the service
• Over the last 10 years, 80% of beneficiaries felt their experience with the Befriender Network was helpful to them at the time
• A lot of beneficiaries eventually train to be a befrienders

Impact on befrienders:

• While many found talking to someone who had had a similar experience to them emotionally difficult, 70% of the befrienders felt that their conversations with their befriendee had a positive outcome
• Befrienders find offering befriending advantageous as 63% of the befrienders who trained at the Network’s initial training in 2000 are still befriending today
• There are currently 134 befrienders that are active with the service

Personal impact statements

Befriendee’s view – Trevor:

Trevor recovered from bacterial meningitis and septicaemia and was put in touch with Simon through the telephone befriending network. Simon had also recovered from the disease several years earlier.

“After surviving meningococcal septicaemia and had returned home, I felt so alone, so confused and very, very angry inside. My life and capabilities had turned upside down. It was so hard to get my head around; I had lost memories, I was in pain and was so very depressed. Even with the most amazing love and care of my beautiful wife, I knew that she could not truly understand how I felt and neither could I truly understand what hell she had been through. I needed someone to talk to, who could help me and my wife understand what this dreadful illness had done to our lives. I contacted Meningitis Research Foundation and through the Befriender’s Network, I was put in touch with an amazing guy.

“He had been through a similar experience as myself a year before me and his lovely wife had been through the hell that my wonderful wife had to live through. We contacted each other by phone as we lived some 120 miles apart and I suddenly felt not so alone. Here was someone who had been through what I was going through, both physically and emotionally and just to have that person to talk to without them saying those dreaded words: ‘I can understand how you feel’. This was what I needed and I cannot express how much this person, whom I did not know and who did not know me, helped me so, so much in the road to getting my life back to as normal as possible.”

Befriender’s view – Simon:

Simon was contacted to see if he was available to offer telephone befriending to Trevor as his experience of the disease was very similar.

“I received a call from Meningitis Research Foundation asking if I would be willing to speak to a gentleman who had had a similar form of the illness a year after me and wanted to talk to someone. I agreed with some trepidation as I was entering the unknown and still felt very emotional about my illness. One of the main difficulties is picking up the phone to a complete stranger but it turned out that Trevor was of the same age and we had been through very similar experiences and been left with very similar disabilities. His lovely wife Anne and his family had suffered the same hell that my wife and family had gone through; that of nearly losing their loved one. We speak regularly now and have met each other on numerous occasions. I count Trevor and his wife as friends that I shall hopefully have for the rest of my life.

“The befriending service has also helped me tremendously. Even now I find it an enormous relief just being able to pick up the telephone and speak to Trevor. Although I was the befriender Trevor also helps me and, I hope, I help him come to terms and live with our life changing disabilities and all that goes with it.”

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